Today hasn’t been the best of days. Some days I’m more pinched by reality than others I guess. I shouldn’t let it bother me…but somehow I wish I could wonder off a cliff. You know, embrace the oblivion. I’d like it if convenience could bend the agony and turn melancholy to happy. Complete and forever. I’m almost sure I should be still. Inside should never be faltered. In a way..an ironic way I can feel happiness inside. It’s like a faint smile that never makes it onto my visage. I can’t help but feel like the great pretender sometimes. However, I’m not a very good actress. I hate that those around me can sense my melancholy funk. I suppose I don’t like the weakness factor. I’m not afraid, but I’m not keen on to exposing my discontent feelings. Why? Because I’m what’s called a “woman of faith”. I know what I’ve been praying for is already addressed. My every step…breath is preordained. There’s really no need for worry. Yet, I’m also human. The human robot….who’s automatic reaction to stress and conflict is to worry.
I’m gonna shower and turn up the radio. Then wait for sleep.
- Posted in: Annoyed.