What is this? A funny farm?

I’m a bit disappointed right now. I’ve got no desire to think, feel, eat, drink, see, hear, or decide. I just wanna get a couple needles and some yarn and knit until someone tells me this has all been a great prank.

Of course the “interview” was canceled again yesterday..I was so annoyed I couldn’t bring myself to type it up. I called him just after I called a taxi. I never imagined he’d cancel again! So he says, an emergency came up across town..One of his studios wasn’t “covered”. Well I have to wonder..had I not called him, would he have called be in time. He didn’t answer at 1st…but called back at like 12:32. I sooo coulda been already there. Everyone is telling me not to go forward with this. I dunno. I haven’t called him today, and he hasn’t called me. So..I dunno. I don’t want to go back into retail at all, but my old co-worker called me about a job at Dillard’s. I am sick of having to depend on my mother for everything..It’s just ugh. I’m no bum but I feel like one. If only I had some wheels, I could get an office job in Met. or inner city N.O. I dunno. I can’t stress about all this. I just can’t. I’ll blank out..totally. It’s amazing that a person like me could go into a shell and stay there unpressed to exit. It’s rather lonely and pointless to start locking and suppressing though. I’m starting to feel like a great big laaazzy buman unprofitable servant. But I know that’s not true.

It just isn’t.

Why am I listening to Bread and enjoying it ever so much. How old am I really? Jeez. I’m having Italian Pie tonight. Yeeee! Mum sensed how downish I am from all the dram Ugh. It’s sweet of her to think of me. Pacify me with a cal zone.  hA. I think I’ll go watch Judge Judy after this song is over.


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