So sick

my moms been on the whinge since forever..she needs to stop whinning and start working. she’s leaning on me to support her, wtf is that? u haven’t even raised me in such a way that i can support myself. yet you try to put the weight of the world on myy shoulders. i understand things get rough and you need help..but for goodness sake. stop depending on people! people don’t owe you nothing but a swift kick in the arse. esp if you live in a southern hillbillie bob and patsy state! i have no problem helping her, but there’s no wayyy i can pull 2g outta my ass evry month annd go to school! the only logical way to pay her bills would be to quit school. just as she did..just as my sister did…just as my grandmother did..and her mother…and God knows how many others. and where did that get them in life? nowhere. slow.fast.and steady. i don’t want to go down that road. i want to attain an education that will secure my future not just my current situation. she’s throwin all kinds of hints for me to go back in my life. go back to the shit job. go back to bs. go back to less than my potential. what i don’t get is..if she’s soooo sick why doesn’t she apply for her fckn disability?! why depend on your chillld to do what you shoullld be doing for yourself?! suppose i was like a normal 25 yr old and moved out on myy own..with my ownn bills. would she stillll expect me to pay hers?! i’m so over this fckn pitty party. then instead of focusing on her own issues, she crys a river over my sister’s! that’s the reason she’s outta 10g now! let her cry her own rivers and fix her own mistakes! mommy can’t do it forever. hell she’s almost 40! i’m so over this. i really am. i have every intention of going to work..but i’m not gonna go to work and be the sole provider. she can forget that notion. she is just fckn lazy. she thinks it’s her age…oh i’m 58..i’m too old..i can’t i can’t. it’s not about a can’t it’s about a want..she doesn’t want to work. she doesn’t want to do what she needs to do to pull herself outta the rut she put herself in! u know why yr so tired? coz yr fat honey. not coz ur old! how many ollld people work..and work with the energy of 27 27 yr olds?!! i know plenty..the difference between my mother and those people is health. less weight..and a positive attitude. she holds the key to the door she’s banging on. it makes absolutely no sense to sit outside opportunity’s door with a key knocking..pleading..wondering how to get in..when the key is in yourr hands. take it. use it!

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