Was thinking about deleting my past.

So I was thinking I’d start a new blog..close this one and start fresh..that is until I read my old posts..posts from younger years..I should think I’d like to look back on those someday..see how stupid or wise, silly or thoughtful I was in comparison to some present someday.

Anywho..I’ve decided to strictly stand by the NCR. I’ve been doing great..ofc she contacts me every other week..but what I’d love to know is why? She’s in a relationship..smiles for the camera in the other girl’s arms..Now I’m aware that it’s just another scene in a very elaborate play, but srsly..I’m no longer casted. I really don’t want to seem bitter because I’m not. I’m thankful. So very glad I got the opportunity to see 3 dimensions of a person I loved with eyes closed. I heard a word last night and it sunk deep into the tiny hard to reach places of my heart. The word was unconditional. Following that word was love. Two words alone, and especially combined that she never had for me..There’s nothing left to exert myself for…I feel I’m wasting energy just extracting thoughts from my head to this blog, but I’d really rather not leave them in..better to get it out..spread it thin and have a look at them.

Giggles..mom’s making a valiant attempt to use the gopher. She’s blaming¬†her failure to secure things on..the gopher. Ofc it’s not the gopher, it’s the operator..

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